Had the job from hell today.   Young attorneys.  One talked 250 all day, the witness talked 250 and his attorney who said plenty talked abut 270 and objected to almost every single question for almost 300 pages.  And they kept talking on top of each other.  Your typical job from hell depo.  But add to that:

The witness was tapping shoes on the floor, both of them, like a penguin, all day long!  And at times he was tapping his nails on the table along with his feet.  Drove me crazy!!!!!  So distracting to trying to concentrate.  And he wasn't nervous, just couldn't sit still.  The brief times he wasn't tapping his feet, he was swinging side to side in his chair.  Glad it didn't squeak!

Okay, so on my depo this afternoon, at the non-taking attorney's office, he closed the door as we were ready to start, but left the door cracked.  I asked, Did you want to shut the door (it was a little noisy in the hallway) and he said no, the dog might want to come it.  So in comes a little Schnauzer of some sort with ringing bells on his collar walking around under the table back and for on my cords on the floor...............the attorney said it was "the office dog." 

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OMG!  G-R-O-S-S!!!  But come to think of it, I think I've had that too!!!  lol
I had to become a mouth breather for my depo today.  Everybody started coming into the room one by one, everything's okey-dokey.  The witness finally enters the room and it became an instant mouth-breathing situation.  We should get combat pay for some of this stuff.
Not only does this site offer jobs and a wealth of information, it's also nice to know that we're not alone with these RIDICULOUS situations that we encounter in our daily quest to create a record!!!  I do feel it's my obligation to get a clean and accurate record WHEN I'M THERE rather than play the audio later to try and figure out what was said!!!  I have no problem telling my witness, very politely of course, to remove their hands from their mouth, etc.  I usually say I have a few rules of my own they need to follow - again, very politely - and they usually comply.   Oh, don't get me wrong - I was at a public hearing the other night and one of the board members was folding and refolding AND FOLDING again blueprints while I was trying to take down what the AUDIENCE member was saying, who, might I add, was from Poland, had a super heavy accent AND spoke really low!!!!  So, yes, each day we go out and wonder, don't we, WTF will today bring????  Sort of the fun of the job, apparently, b/c we all love it!!!!
hahahahaha!  Uh, I think that may be ILLEGAL!!!  lmao

I would have no problem telling a witness, attorney, videographer not to eat while on the record, actually I would say let's take a break until everyone is done eating.  If half the time I leave the room when my husband eats, while giving him a dirty look as I walk out because he's too noisy, I'm not going to sit in a deposition and listen to someone else. 

Amen, Rosalie!  I get up and start doing the dishes at home to get away from the noise!  It goes right through me.
I think I would have asked the witness to take his shoes off if he couldn't stop clacking them on the floor!  I hate when people fiddle with stuff -- it's so distracting.  My atty today was a fidgeter -- I have to purposely not look at him or it makes me nuts.  And they are always the fast talkers.  I told him his brain was going too fast for his lips, LOL.  What I wanted to say was, If you take the time to THINK about the question you're about to ask, you wouldn't have to say STRIKE THAT three times in each question!  Oh, well, more pages for me; right?
Was it BO or what?  What issue did he have?
I've been trying to find a way to phrase this as tactfully as possible, but here goes.  He just came from the restroom and there must not have been any toilet paper in his stall.
LOL....that same thing happened to a friend of mine, after lunch the witness had to use the restroom, and when he came back, the whole room smelled.  They must not have toilet paper the men's restrooms.
You just want to scream out, "We need a do-over!"
I just pray that that never happens to me.  I have a very weak stomach, and just the tought of certain things will make me actually puke.

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