Things you wish you could say during a depo

Feel free to talk over each all you want, I'm not listening.

I write at 225 wpm, I will drop all words starting at the 226th word and on for those minutes you choose to speak at 300 wpm.

Do you think the room has been struck deaf. We can all hear you whispering really loudly to your client and chances are that counsel can hear you instructing your client and I can hear you. Take it outside if you don't want it on the record.

Why do you think I am a lip reader and can put your objection ion the record if you don't speak up or just raise your hand and mouth the word at me.

It's not funny. Sarcasm doesn't translate well.(to the witnesses)

When you ask me what Exhibit No. 6 is, I probably won't know. My job is to mark the exhibits, not keep track of the content of the exhibit.

The witness knows nothing. Stop it!!!!

Garbage in, garbage out.

For the love of God, please stop making up words.


Feel free to add anything you wish you've said during a depo but have not.

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Comment by Kyung on August 5, 2009 at 7:11
I had an attorney do that to me. It's craziness. They look at you as if you should be taking the exhibit from their hand as they keep talking.
Comment by Quyen on August 4, 2009 at 22:01
I only have two arms today. Unfortunately, I forgot my four other arms at home. This means I can EITHER mark your stupid exhibit OR take down your incessant and maddeningly annoying habit of handing me the exhibit, waiting for me to pick up the pen and begin to write the exhibit number on the sticker, and you immediately continue to talk just as BOTH of my hands are off the keyboard. I let the first one or two of your offenses slide. But you've been doing this ALL bleeping day. Keep it up, buddy, I'm about to go rabid psychob!tch on you!
Comment by Kyung on August 2, 2009 at 7:41
Monti,

The other day, the attorney asked this really old witness to read some huge thick document that was for some class that was taught a over 50 years ago with test at the end. Then they'd ask the witness questions. The opposing attorney's objection was unkind. I thought that was rather funny.
Comment by Vesna Walter on August 1, 2009 at 19:40
Hilarious- all of you!

I just had a depo of an "older" lady the other day and the questioning attorney let her go on and on and on, even when she forgot what she was talking about and would continue on another tangent. I was trying really hard not to roll my eyes.
Comment by Kelli Combs (admin) on August 1, 2009 at 17:15
Not sure if this applies but once an attorney said what was on all of our minds after a really long question by the questioning attorney.

Questioning attorney in a very slow low voice "Can you tell me blah blah blah..." it must of went on for 3 minutes.
opposing council after the question was done and with a very calm voice "Objection boring."

LOL! i almost busted out laughing but the pro that i am I just kept my serious poker face on.
Comment by Priscilla Anderson on August 1, 2009 at 16:19
LOL!
Comment by Quyen on August 1, 2009 at 12:07
Lol, Janet. I took an expert depo of a neuropsychologist/psychiatrist, whatever, and he had these plastic-rimmed glasses with plastic arms. I swear that man had a nervous twitch. Once he put the glasses on to read the documents, he began playing with the glasses, folding, unfolding, folding, unfolding the arms. It was driving me INSANE! I finally yelled out at him, "I'm going to take those away from you! You're driving me nuts!" The doc (and all the lawyers in the room) looked at me in absolute horrified shock and the room fell dead silent. Then everyone just cracked up laughing!

OMG, every little noise is SO incredibly annoying when you're hanging on to everyone's last syllable! Aaaarrrrgh! :)
Comment by Janet on August 1, 2009 at 9:58
"Put the big black clip thingy you're playing with down, or you die."

"Click the pen one more time, it's out the window, fella."
Comment by Rosalie DeLeonardis on July 31, 2009 at 19:47
To the witness: "Do you think by using a cane you're going to get more money?" Or to the witness that is overusing his medication, "You look more like a drug addict than an injured person. Get off the drugs!" My witness yesterday was so drugged up, even his own attorney was looking at him sideways.
Comment by Linda Sorge-Howard on July 31, 2009 at 5:45
How about when you've been writing for hours, dealing with the interruptions in speech, cell phones going off, a witness who never REALLY understands the question but yet every answer produces a minimum of 5 paragraphs all with incomplete sentences and the attorneys just let him ramble with no instruction to SHUT UP!!!!! LOL

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