OUT-OF-LINE CSRnation Member

[Tami]

So there's this unnamed member who keeps misrepresenting facts about me and my son on other members' pages. I'm not sure if it's unintentional or if he's completely clueless. He brings us up in his first contact to complete strangers.

My son and I met this gentleman briefly at our state convention in October. ("Briefly" as in five minutes maybe.)

How do you think I should handle this?? So far I've bit my tongue, and it's starting to get sore. :)

I appreciate all your time and anticipated brilliance!

[Yvette LaRochelle]

Hi Tami,,, what I would tell you to do is write this "gentleman" a letter and just explain that what he has been informing people of is all wrong. Write the truth, explain to this man the way things really are and let him know that he should be getting the information he is sharing from the source. Let him know that if he has any questions as to you or your son, you will be happy to answer them. I would also let him know that he might not be aware that he is slandering you and your son and that is against the law. If you tell the truth then you are a teacher and an informed one at that. If you exaggerate then you are a person just wanting to be heard but no knowledge can be shared.

[Chris Renegar]

Tami, there's really no need to bite your tongue with this man. But this is where diplomacy comes in. Contacting him directly in a friendly fashion and setting the record straight, giving him the benefit of the doubt that he has unintentionally misrepresented you and here are the REAL facts, is a good place to begin. It doesn't have to be nasty or threatening. If the "nice guy" approach doesn't work, then come back and we'll help you with "Plan B." It's hard to give advice when there's probably much to this story that you had to leave out for discretionary reasons.

[Tami]

Thank you! I appreciate the advice.

It does seem that even when he gets "information . . . from the source" he has a difficult time keeping the facts straight. When he is talking about himself, which he is very fond of doing, the facts seem to change too.

I don't think it comes close to slander. It's just a bit offensive.

Oh, and my son did make an attempt to correct the facts on this gentleman's page, and he still is making misrepresentations about him.

We'll see if this slows him down. :)

[Jeannie Wright]

I have to agree with Chris and Yvette. I think writing him, very nicely and diplomatically, is the best way to start. It's unfortunate that he thinks ya'll need to be a topic of conversation anyway. And there probably is more to the story. However, being the big person first and foremost and setting a positive environment is the best way to start. I'm sure down deep your stomach is churning, but so many people have just never been taught, or informed, that being diplomatic is really the only way to go in a group. Like all our grandmothers said "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." It's true. She also said "kill them with kindness" (which I just never could really wrap my mind around until I was grown), but it works. If Plan A doesn't work, then Plan B will have to be implemented, but we can still do that nicely. I wish you luck!

[Tami]

Thank you, Jeannie.