OMG! There's literally "crap" in my transcript! LOL!

I'm totally mortified ... but also laughing hysterically at myself! I scan my rough ASCIIs to clean up the messy parts and untrans, but I don't read for content. I'm editing a job and ... this is what I came upon:

Q You didn't use the words, "Obtain Mr. Schmoe's* scents," correct?

LOLOLOL!!! It is supposed to read:

Q You didn't use the words, "Obtain Mr. Schmoe's* consent," correct?

*names have been changed to protect the innocent ... or not.

Another time, I misstroked "people," which should be PAOEPL. I'm on Eclipse, and it guesses the closest word if you miss or drag a key. Well, needless to say, in this case, I literally had "poop" in the roughs that I sent out. :/

And ANOTHER time, an attorney was sitting right next to me and reading my screen. I meant to write "submit," which is SPHEIT. Well, I dropped the "P" and wrote SHEIT ... which is ... well, "sh!t." He saw it before I could delete it to rewrite it, pointed at it on my screen and laughed out loud during the deposition! Made me laugh too. Everybody was looking at us like, "What are you two up to?"

Have you ever come up with anything mortifying/funny after having sent out your rough? Please share! :)

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I am not a working reporter but i am a student and i come across that sometimes. Like one time i wrote "if you can" which is fu*K. So when i went to read back in class i almost said the word. I laughed so hard my teacher was looking at me as if i was weird. lol
I've had my share of realtime bloopers, too. I saw Mr. Cock going out to a room full of people (as opposed to Mr. Cox). Thank God Ms. Virginia wasn't mentioned. Could have misstroked that one, too!

I was realtiming for someone about ten years ago. About an hour into the depo, opposing counsel looked at me and said, "What is this crap?" And I said, "Oh, you're probably seeing untranslates. I'll fix those later." He said, "No, I think you need to look at your screen," and everybody started laughing. This depo was a contract dispute (KRA), and sure enough, my right middle finger was dragging on that final P.
April, thanks for that, it made me laugh :)
Recently I was doing CART for a large forum, we had delegates from all over Europe and some of them were using the screen to help them translate the proceedings.

There was an English professor at the podium talking about the "aging process" but I misstroked, so the delegates were reading about the "analing process" !!! The laughter started before I realised my mistake, and then the professor turns and says, "One moment please gentlemen, sorry Michelle, but can I have a copy of this for my next lecture, just to see if any of my students notice the blooper?"

I was embarrassed but they all saw the funny side, thankfully.
Kwanna: I'm constantly changing the way I write things, and I never used to write "if you can" as a phrase until fairly recently, and I couldn't remember which one I distinguished with an asterisk. So I go to write "if you can," and the f-word comes up. Luckily no one saw. :)

Janet: Ms. Virginia ... I hope you don't write those the same way! LOL!

April: Haha! That is too funny! You REALLY had crap in your transcript! ;)


I don't define the F-word in my dictionary in case of misstrokes.  It has rarely come up anyways.  So take it out of your dictionary completely.


Hi, Laura.

Quite a while ago, I modified my dictionary so that if I needed to reflect an F-bomb, I would have to stroke /TPR*EL /TPR*EL, which is a word I borrowed from the old SciFi network show, Farscape (though there, it's only said once).

So, I'm transcribing a taped telephone conversation of a guy in prison, and the F-word comes up, and I tried to write it normally ... but it didn't translate.

It took a while, but I finally remembered that dictionary entry!

That said, Mark Kislingbury recommends having a "Bad Words" dictionary.  He has it set up to put in a space if he should accidentally stroke one of those seven words you're not supposed to say on television.

He also has another dictionary he uses when he needs those words to show up ... and that's a pair of ideas I intend to adopt.

Not so much a rough draft, but I about made myself fall out of my chair when I meant to stroke "marked for identification" or M/FBG, M/FBG, and I accidentally got the R in there and wrote motherfucker, motherfucker.

Well, I didn't know that word was in my dictionary. Not the way to start your second day as a new reporter.

Yes, I got a premade dictionary with my theory.

Thank you for keeping it real.
LOL!!! Oh, too funny! And in this profession we are supposed to be professional. Thanks for the laugh!

Delete that word!  Never heard it ever in my 25 years of reporting.  If it ever comes up, just job define.


Susana: I don't think if even have the mf-word in my dictionary! OMG.


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