New Mommies

[Kyung]

I've noticed an explosion of new mommies on this website. I think it's wonderful. Congratulations to all of you. If there are new daddies out there, congratulations to you, too.

I think we all share a common bond in that we are court reporters raising kids. No one else is going to quite understand your horror when your 3-hour depo all of a sudden turns into an late night, attorney-is-never-going-to-stop-talking job and you need someone to call and pick up your child ASAP.

Being a parent is a great thing. I love my daughter, but it's difficult too. So I, for one, would love to get advice and share my experiences too.

[Jeannie Wright]

We are all too familiar with that scenario. I know that when my children were younger (not that long ago, either), I made a list of people who were allowed to pick my children up. I provided a copy of their driver's license and their cell phone numbers, so that my kids could be retrieved by my friends from school, ballet, karate, etc. I also made sure that I had lunch with my kids and my friends once a month so that the children would be comfortable with them and vice-versa. Worked for me!

[Kyung]

That's awesome that you had such a great network of family and friends to fill the gap. If I can't pick up G, my husband can usually pick her up. But sometimes he's traveling for work, then we have to have her grandparents pick her up.

Sometimes, when I take a job in L.A., and it's going to be an all-dayer and my husband is traveling, I'll put her grandparents, which means they cannot leave the house w/out their cell phone. It's been really nice for us since we've moved closer to them. But it's kind of a pain for them.

I'm starting to worry about this fall bec. she starts kindergarten, and that's only 210 minutes or something. There's onsite after-school and before-school care, but I don't know how that all works. It's crazy, but we've got to go to orientation for this fall February. Craziness.

[Jeannie Wright]

Yes, when they begin school it does get crazy, but you will survive it just fine. You didn't ask for this, but I'm going to tell you anyway -- My son's kindergarten teacher gave me the two best pieces of advice for MY sanity. 1. Remember that what kind of morning you have at home just before school sets the tone for your child and his entire day, and hence, yours. If you spend that 1 or 2 hours nagging and fighting, he will be awful at school and at home and you will be miserable. Even if you have conflicts, handle it diplomatically and send your child off to school with love and a smile - your day will be better when you get home and his will too. (My oldest is a boy, obviously). 2. Children are far more resilient than you think - don't beat yourself up with guilt!

That being said, your post brought home a realization to me -- I divorced when my son was six and my daughter was 4 - my son is now graduating high school! I didn't realize until today that I have raised my children alone (their father doesn't live in the same city) and they are nearly adults - it seems like I was battling your problems only yesterday - seriously! Time flies faster than we can possibly realize!

[Kyung]

Thank you. It's true. I will wok on setting the tone. Great advice.