detour through single mommyhood

[Kyung]

So I've been doing the single parent gig this week. Man, it's a lot of work.

Kudos to all you moms and dads who do it on your own all the time.

So far, I've been working local and at decent hours w/attorneys who understand that a 12-hour depo does not a good reporter make. I've had local jobs, so even if we finished up late, I've been able to run over and pick up my daughter. I haven't had to call on the grandparents once.

However, that may change today since I have a depo that starts at 3:30. According to the agency, the atorney is to the point so I'm hoping I won't be there past 5:30. I'll still be able to pick her up.

My job on Friday canceled (I'm available for work), so I'll be able to catch up. Whoo-hoo.

The problem for me has been feeding her at night. I pick her up and I'm so tired and I don't want to deal with cooking. I haven't resorted to fast food yet, but I'm cutting the corners pretty close.

The other problem is the stress level. I'm used to being able to count on my husband if the depo runs late. But w/my husband being out of town, I kind of feel my daughter needs the stability of mommy picking her up. Anyway, it adds a whole other level of stress to everything.

The other problem is me time. There's none of it. It's work or child. I'm lucky. I only have to do this sporadically. Once again, all of you who are doing this on your own, you're awesome!!!

[Rhonda Hall Breuwet, RDR CRR CLR]

yes, and those same family members won't understand what all you go through to make the good money you will be making. They will think it is insane to make what you will make, "just" for "typing" what people say. They think we make that big money just for sitting there for three hours, not for the total amount of time it takes to write the job, travel to and fro, editing, proofing, correcting, printing, etc., etc. You get excited one time and tell them how much your check was for or how much you made on a particular job, and then they think you're rich and don't understand when you are broke. Fortunately for me, my favorite aunt is a reporter, so at least I have one family member who "gets" it.

I was a single mother from the birth of my daughter until she was about 9, almost 10. Fortunately, for the first few years, I had a 24-hour daycare. Then I had to deal with trying to pick her up on time. Unfortunately, I did do the fast-food route, and now that's mostly what she likes, so I'm now "paying for it." I also now have all kinds of guilt because of it. But you know what? I have to realize that I did the best I could with what I had available to me, and there's no way to redo or undo it. I can only try to do better now. She graduates in 2010, so I'm trying to get as involved with her school activities as much as I possibly can these last few years because I realized, she won't be here much longer, and I want to make these last few years as memorable as I can for her.

[Sandra Bright]

Hate to say it, Kathleen, but when you're finally working, those same family members won't understand when you have to work nights or weekends to get jobs out because they're rushes or when you get stuck on a depo that goes late. You know what they say, people who are understanding and compassionate get it and don't have to have it explained to them. Those who don't want to understand, won't. Don't waste your time and energy trying to explain yourself. Just take care of what you need to take care of and leave them alone with their opinions.

[Kathleen Trinidad]

It is extremely hard to get by. I know I wouldn't where I am today without the help of my daughter's father. Even though we're not together, he understands the importance of me finishing my school and working full time. Thank goodness I just finished last week. The only thing that really gets to me is how other family members do not understand how hard it is to go to court reporting school and work a full time job, not to mention being a full time mother as well. They don't understand that this is not a regular school where you can study the night before a test a pass the next day. All I can say is kudos to ANYBODY going to school AND going to work full time, plus being a parent all at the same time without losing your head!

[Patricia Babits]

My husband is out of town next week. I have to pay a babysitter because I have a CART job going to 6:00 and the daycares close at 5:30. What a pain. I'll probably end up breaking even. I wish I had some family nearby. I don't think I could live here as a single mom. I'd need to be right in the city where the work is, and even then depos go past daycare hours sometimes.

[Cynthia S. Bicad]

Hey Kyung,
I am a single parent, but I have the greatest family in the world. When I need that "me time," they don't hesitate to help me out. My mom, my sister, and my brother-in-law are so awesome. My hardest time was when I was going to night school at South Coast in Orange. I was working full-time, pretty much going to school full-time, and there was no mommy and son time. That's when I felt so guilty. All I can say is the payoff is great. I love my job. My son loves my job. And now I can go to most of his school's activities if they're on certain days. I'll just put myself off calendar. All I know is without my family I don't know if I would have made it. All I can say is I'm so BLESSED.