A CRUSHING GOODBYE

[April McMillan, CRR, RPR, CSR]

At 9:30 last night I had to make one of the most painful and difficult decisions ever. And today, I'm feeling so lost, quite empty and crushed by the weight of that decision.

My dog Bam-Bam is gone. Forever. And it was totally unexpected.
I've never loved an animal like I love him. He loved me unconditionally, was a great friend and the best keeper of secrets. Smart too. I miss him so much it hurts.

I've had cats throughout my life, but Bam was my first dog. Sought out by me, chosen by me, and whole-heartedly loved by me. I know time and many wonderful memories of this great dog will help me and my family in our grief. He will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Good boy, Bam. Good boy.

11/9/2000 - 5/17/2009




Thank you so much to everyone for giving us comfort with your kind words and thoughts. Our family and close circle of friends always teased me because of the way I treat my dogs, my children with 4 legs. I knew we weren't alone in how much we love our pets. And with so many responses to my blog, well, I know we pet lovers are some big-hearted people.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

April

[Mary Motley O'Brien]

I had to keep reminding myself over and over of this part of the poem in making the decision..."When I am very old and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun." It is so true, but still doesn't make it any easier. I had Sadie cremated too, and it was hard going to pick the ashes up because the room where she was put to sleep was right off to the side when I first walked in and as I was walking out the door, I kept looking over there remembering the event and how I couldn't leave the room. I kept going back over to her and just staring at her, knowing that was the last time I would ever see her physical body, so I had to keep reminding myself that she was now in doggie heaven running around pain free and playing with two other dogs she grew up with. =) She will never be forgotten. Every St. Paddy's Day will be a celebration of her (note my last name) which was the day, and we have her ashes laying on the bottom rung of the coffee table in the family room where she used to always lay her chin while we were watching tv. So I look at her every day. I also have a shrine in my office with the Rainbow Bridge poem that Karen M. put on here, a paw print they took for me that day, a personalized card that the vet mailed to me, her collar and a picture of her and I in her early days. You have other dogs, right? They help, don't they in the healing process?! Our Brittany definitely misses Sadie but he sure is extra spoiled now........although he has to share his attention with a little 5-month-old baby named Olivia too (not a dog, hehe) She has helped in the healing process too. Here's a pic of Sadie and I right before I took her in.....hope it copies into here. I'll friend request you too so you can see the pics I have of our other dog too and more of Sadie. Your pics on your page are all sooo cute! Hang in there and know you did the right thing!!

[April McMillan, CRR, RPR, CSR]

That was beautiful, Mary.
Thank you very much.
We're picking up his ashes tomorrow afternoon and I'm trying to prepare myself for that now . . .

[Mary Motley O'Brien]

So sorry for your loss!! I had to make that very hard decision two months ago with my 15 1/2 year-old lab mix, Sadie. Such a hard decision when they don't show when they're in pain, but I knew she was. I never imagined she would live as long as she did, so I feel so blessed that she did. Making that decision was soooo hard, but we have to know in our hearts that we did the right thing for them. Animal lovers are definitely special people, and we have to all stick together.
My mom gave me this poem years ago that was from Dear Abby. Very touching....
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I now am a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my God, and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I can’t tell you when I am thirsty. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do you bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.
And beloved friend, when I am very old and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please hold me gently in your arms and see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw, my fate was ever safest in your hands, and I will have merciful eternal rest.

[Cindy Bennett]

April, I am so sorry for your loss of Bam-Bam. I have only had my little puppy Marty for nine months but he's my little four-legged baby and I can't imagine losing him, so I can only imagine the pain and sadness you are feeling. I'm thankful that you have other furry loved ones to help you through this sorrow. I have seen your photos in the photo section before (I love animals) so I recognized your Bam-Bam right away. So precious. I pray that your sadness will pass quickly and you will remember only the good times.

[Tami]

So sorry, April. Hang in there.

[April McMillan, CRR, RPR, CSR]

You tell 'em, Monti.

Cat-lover was one of the first things that drew me to my husband when we first met. And besides my children, he turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me:)

[Kelli Combs (admin)]

yes, we are a special bunch.
kelli and I like each other because we both love cats.

she sadly lost one of her cats a month ago :(
My friends (the Male ones) think I am crazy for loving my cats.. my last move I had many issues trying to find an apartment that allow cats.
some friends suggested I "throw" the cats away... the mere suggestion sent me on a cussing frenzy.

I'll throw you away, I tell you what.

[Sandy Poe-Bush]

Please accept my deepest heartfelt condolences on the loss of your Bam-Bam. He was certainly a cutey! Try and keep your chin up, April. Wishing you all the best. Sandy

[April McMillan, CRR, RPR, CSR]

Thank you so much to everyone for giving us comfort with your kind words and thoughts. Our family and close circle of friends always teased me because of the way I treat my dogs, my children with 4 legs. I knew we weren't alone in how much we love our pets. And with so many responses to my blog, well, I know we pet lovers are some big-hearted people.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

April

[A, B and C Reporting]

So sorry to hear of your loss. Our animals become like our children. I had to make that terrible decision as well, and it is by no means an easy one or one to be taken lightly. I keep a picture of my pup in my living room. Remembering Bam, talking about Bam and looking at his picture will make it easier over time. :)

Again, so sorry for your loss.

Dawn